Are We All The Same

By: Faith Pearce

(3 min read)

Do you ever read something, and you are instantly triggered? The statement I read was “Why are we physically attracted to humans?”

Initially, I went down the pathway of we are not all attracted to humans, some prefer a more solitary life. But we are conditioned by the influences around us, which has a huge impact on what we consider to be “normal.” Society constantly dictates the rules, and we are expected to follow. For example, boys should wear blue, and girls should wear pink. Boys play football and girls bake cookies…blah blah blah. I know I’m being very general here, a little facetious.

From an early age, I was aware I wanted to do things differently. I’ve always hated labels and the need to put someone in a box. I wanted to be a ballerina, an archaeologist, an astronaut, a vet and artist. All of them! Growing up with hyper-awareness, I watched how people interacted with each other and quickly learned what is expected to fit in. With these expectations, I chose to keep my head down.

I think that’s why this post triggered me so much. It was a general statement yet made a vast assumption of people and society as a whole are all the same. But really, we are not. Everyone has their own love languages, their own learning styles, and their own unique history. Each person is unique. We get lost along the way with the pressure to conform into a “normalized” mold. Maybe the statement triggered me because I have worked so hard to accept and be proud of myself and my individuality. I wanted to scream, “Just be yourself!”

As unique as we all are, there are so many ways that we are alike. There is a huge part of us that wants to fit in and wants to be accepted. We want to be considered the same as everyone else, and we look for things that validate us, things that mirror back to us our own thoughts, feelings and behaviors. The reflections give us permission to be ourselves, and we in turn don’t feel quite so alone. We are driven to connect mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Maybe not all of the same time…I mean we want to be alike, but we don’t. We are alike, but we aren’t. Ah, my head is spinning.

I mean we are not that much different when it comes to our professions. We all have problems we have to solve or services to provide whether you are a mechanic, a dancer, a nurse or banker.

Does it matter whether your favorite color is pink, blue or yellow? Are colors really gender identifiers? I change the colors I like all the time. Sometimes just with a mood swing. So, what does that infer?

Personally, I believe the qualities we possess like patience, compassion, loyalty and integrity are more important than our external circumstances or my blue socks.

I was reading a post on social media about obesity and the hatred being spewed was quite saddening. It didn’t help anyone or achieve anything. I wondered about the depth of sadness that level of hatred must make people feel. I truly do not understand how some can disconnect from the good in others and from the world and spend all their time focusing on what they dislike.

It’s too easy to focus on the negatives. Someone I used to work with really annoyed me, so I decided to try and find one thing positive about that person. Instead of being irritated all day I thought about what that person did well. We were never going to be best buddies, but I could detach from the negative emotion.

We all have different skills, different likes and different goals. Let’s just step back and find a common ground. Find one thing we can relate to or a common thread of connection. Maybe just maybe we can see we are more alike than different. And if we are so very different, embrace that concept instead of trying to change into someone else or instead of degrading someone else. Accept each other!

What we focus on we get more of…that’s food for thought…and as I get older, I am quite sure of what I want more of, and that’s happiness.

Faith Pearce 
                                                                     All Things Wellness, LLC

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