The Pregnant Pause
By: Lara Dustin Scriba
(4 min. read)
This past month has been an absolute whirlwind as we officially closed out our first cruising season and put the boat on the hard. We were transitioning to our working season for the next six months, sorting housing, acclimating to land life, and being back in the US.
This is no small feat, and I needed “all hands on deck.” I put myself on permanent “Passage Protocol” (no alcohol) for now after having another anxiety attack out of the blue while we were still out sailing. Luckily, this one only lasted a few hours, but its warning rang loud and clear. It’s time to bring it back to basics, and I know it’s only been a month being alcohol-free, but I have never felt better.
We had an incredible last few weeks in the Sea of Cortez, savoring the wild remoteness of it all. The magic only nature can offer up as you play with sea lions and sail into the sunset alongside a family of blue whales. There is a fullness, a deep, heartfelt sense of gratitude that we were able to experience a level of connection meant to be experienced in an entire lifetime in a matter of mere moments. I am taking this tenderness, this sense of awe with me as we step into our next season. Trusting that there is always magic surrounding me, it’s simply a matter of adjusting my lens to see it.
But first, I need to rest—to nestle deeply into the warm earth, exhale into its steady, supportive nature, and absorb all the nurturance and nutrients I need before I take root and rise again.
I find I have a deep urge to curl into a tight little ball and rest… deeply, fully, and completely. Like a bear in hibernation, unaware of the outside world. Without the worry of wind or waves.
My hypervigilance clings to me; there is a sense of restlessness within, and this stillness feels unsettling. Like a fish out of water, I thrash about, especially within my mind.
Wishing to feel the breeze on my skin and sense the weather, I find a compromise. I throw the windows open, allowing the fresh air to flood in, wrap myself in a warm fuzzy blanket, and try to convince myself to relax. All is coming, and we will fall into place in our new home and find our rhythm in due time.
Like a potent seed, this latency is sure to be short-lived, as I am filled with the beauty of past experiences, the heartache of lessons learned, and the anticipation of the potential creations and connections waiting to unfold. It is only a matter of time before this energy finds a creative outlet.
For now, though, it feels as though we have pressed pause, and I am trying to savor the drowsy lull of time standing still.
Every beginning has a brief moment of stillness, a pregnant pause. There is a lingering of previous moments or events, the remnants of memories still pulsing through the body, yet the building anticipation of what is waiting to unfold.
A soft hum, a subtle spaciousness, as both the conscious and unconscious sort where and how the energy will play out.
Recognizing the importance of slowing down and paying attention to bring a tender awareness to what is needed for myself as an individual and for my family as a whole. Making way for a transformation to play out, letting curiosity take the wheel, and once again embracing the unknown.
There is an undeniable call for a deep level of steadiness, to hold fast and anchor down. I can tell a shift is coming, and we are embarking on a whole other level of adventure: a new phase, a blank slate, a stillness, a silence, a soft hush. Yet in the distance, I hear gentle murmuring that demands to be heard.
Hush, sweet soul…
there is something spectacular waiting to come into form.
But we must be quiet in order to witness the miraculous nature of its birth.
Simply breathe as you usher in the energy and stand in awe of its origins.
It’s time to be still and listen to what the silence has to offer.
Close your eyes, be with the breath, and notice
Where does your longing lie?
What is begging to come alive in this very moment?
What needs tending to?
What needs to be laid to rest?
What needs to expand and be explored?
Allow the energy to speak, not only through your words or play out in pictures through your mind’s eye but through the body, through your intuition
Let the subtle sensations take hold and form a narrative that speaks straight to the soul before you begin to create your new reality
Infuse your entire being with its essence as you prepare to take inspired action
Trust deeply as you place one foot in front of the other; no need to know the ultimate outcome.
Better yet, throw in a hop, a twirl, or a skip or two to see how it feels
Celebrate, play, get curious, and explore every step of the way, and you’ll be sure to delight in your destination
Wishing you a world of endless opportunities to experience wonder and delight as we all step into a new season. I am encouraging you also to pause, celebrate your wins, rest, and restore before demanding more of yourself and mindfully stepping into the many possibilities and paths ahead with eyes and hearts wide open.
I look forward to sharing what begins to unfold, as I hope you do as well. We each have unique journeys ahead, and I love witnessing and celebrating with you each step along the way.
