By: Faith Pearce
(3 min read)
This week hasn’t been easy. Let’s be honest, the last few weeks haven’t been. Let’s be honest, the last few months have sucked. When you have been neglecting certain areas of your life, it takes a lot of effort to step out of the normal you have created in the past and create your new “normal.” Learning to feel confident so you can rise to the top again doesn’t come easy.
Following on from last week and working with my ego is a constant dance of what works and doesn’t. Listening, looking at all angles and making conscious choices of what to do next.
As I reconnect, it is like systems are starting to come back online. Part of why I disconnected from my feelings as I recently became an empty nester. Adjusting to life as a single adult is hard. I have had 20 years with someone else in my life and routine. No longer does someone come through the door. No longer does someone laugh with me daily or share a meal. I feel like I have lost my purpose. What do I do with my time now while processing the feelings that come up
When you have an empty house, it seems like time is endless, allowing you to be more present with yourself OR not, which was my case.
I am now looking at why I am here in this present moment. Why am I in such a whirlwind of self-assessment and “forced” growth? I know myself, and I get frustrated when I don’t recognize my red flags or when I do not implement all of the tools and strategies I have learned over the years.
One area that tends to slip for me when I am anxious and overwhelmed is a lack of organization. So why have things slipped? Mainly I’m avoiding the painful feelings, and like most, staying busy with distractions allows me to ignore the real issues.
But it feels like I am slowly reconnecting. That in itself is pretty uncomfortable as I haven’t been connected with myself for a while. It felt like a sticky, dirty substance churning in my stomach, and I sometimes felt quite sick.
Though feelings are circular, I just observed and breathed through them instead of fighting them. I saw a TikTok that used a great analogy. What happens if you go into a house that hasn’t been occupied for 25 years, walk into the kitchen, and turn the tap on? At first, the pipes may creak or bang, but slowly, dirty brown water flows through. The temptation is to turn off the tap as it looks so disgusting. But what you need to do is just give it time and let the water flow. Gradually the water will get clearer. Maybe some pipes will need to be replaced, or maybe they need time to adjust, and everything will be fine.
With each chapter in my life, I know nothing happens in the same way twice. I can pull out the tool kit and try different approaches. I also know that, at times, we have to try something brand new.
I am starting with realistic baby steps. How do I feel? What might have caused it? What can I improve, and how?
I have been enjoying listening to music this week. I have also started tapping again. Tapping is a form of EFT that stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. I use an app called “Tapping Solutions” and a couple of different techniques I have learned from Andrew Johnson and Mark Ward. The app is a great tool to release any stuck or uncomfortable feelings. If you want to learn more, there is a short, simple video in more detail below.
I have also been looking at my posture. Someone once advised me to always look up. I used to walk looking at where my feet were going, but I am trying something new— look forward and look up. It is a steady process, and I will keep learning and building new habits.
The only way to get a different result is to do things differently. Or be patient and give my “Clogged Pipes” a chance to work again.
All Things Wellness, LLC
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