Expand the Vessel

By: Andee Scarantino

(4 min read)

A few months ago, I was having a conversation with a friend about a project she planned to start.

Without giving specifics, she asked me my opinion about groups of individuals, and did I think it would be beneficial for one group to see and interact with the communication of a more advanced group?

You’d think that would be motivational, right? To go and swim with the big fish?

Yet, it didn’t take me long to tell her I thought this was not a good idea. Something like this usually just causes overwhelm and upset for people. Why? Because 1.) people are motivated by the highest versions of themselves, NOT other people. Also, 2.) people are always looking for shortcuts, not realizing that “the process” is necessary for sustainability.

If you were given a choice, for example, to enter a room with a group of people making $40,000 or a group of people making $500,000, you’d probably just rush over to the $500,000 room. I mean– why would you go into the $40,000 room when you could make $500,000? It seems STUPID for you to go into the $40,000 room. Yet, you need to know the basics of earning $40,000 before you can earn $500,000. There’s science. There’s understanding and language. There’s strategy, and then there’s personal capacity.

This is the reason that 70% of lottery winners lose or spend all their money within five years. (You can go Google that stat and there’s an abundance of sources due to our recent lottery jackpot. You will also find a ton of horror stories about lottery winners DYING, but that is an entirely different subject.)

On the road from A to B, we have to develop mastery in our specific place before we can advance. This is very much attuned to “expanding the vessel,” as they teach in Kabbalah.

A lottery winner hasn’t spent decades of their lives expanding their vessel to the level it takes to remain a millionaire. They don’t have the knowledge or capacity.

I spoke to someone recently about the Mega Millions jackpot, and true to form, in their delusion about winning, they spoke about how they’d buy this giant house and they’d just let it sit empty at the beach when they weren’t there.

“Or you can rent it out and continue to have it make money for you,” I suggested.

Yet, they seemed to be uncomfortable about the idea that money needs to work FOR you. They only know the system of trading time for money, and their capacity to think about things in that area is drastically limited.

The same goes true with people learning about sports or nutrition. Sure, you can go on Whole 30 and lose 20 lbs. And most of the people I know who have done that gain it right back, because they don’t take the time to learn or understand the science of nutrition and the body. They followed an arbitrary set of rules, and once that structure was eliminated, they ballooned right back up.

They didn’t expand their vessel or their capacity to understand the intricacies. They didn’t get centered in their physicality. People do not know how to pace themselves, point-blank. Everyone wants to rush to the “finish,” not realizing that there is no finish and you have to touch every step on the way from A to B.

You have to give yourself time, space, and practice, and along with that, you are going to have to deal with the garbage that comes up as you go forward.

When we try to play with the big guys, jumping over the smaller, necessary steps, we don’t get motivated. Rather, we feel personal inadequacy.


“WHY is that person making $500,000 when I’m only making $40,000?! What is wrong with me?! I mean, I am no worse than that person.”

We see their success and all we want to do is shit on ourselves, rather than learn the elementary language of the $40,000 person.

You didn’t get to skip 2nd grade. That’s one thing Western Society got right.

I had a member of my women’s coaching community ask me for an invoice recently. She signed up, was doing her quarterly taxes, and had misplaced the email.

Without thinking of it, I went into Stripe, found the area connected to Circle, and reproduced the invoice sent to her. That seemed like an innocuous action, and yet, that was built on a few years of learning seemingly insignificant steps.

In 2020, I didn’t even *have* a Stripe account. The idea that I could earn money in any way BUT a job that was attached to a W2 was unheard of to me.

When you build a house, you start with the basement.

We have a million people on the internet now trying to sell us the fastest way to everything, affluence and weight loss being the two biggies, but I PROMISE, if you don’t learn the second grade curriculum, you’re going to feel like you’re on MARS when you get to Algebra.

We don’t get to skip the steps in our vessel expansion. Every step must be touched.

There is no “fast track.” That’s a load of bull someone made up somewhere.

Take it from a person who knows– the best way to make a change in your life is to be. here. now.

How can you move from this spot? This one. Not five spots ahead, but this one?

Expand the vessel, and you’ll reap the rewards. My challenge to you is to fight that dopamine-drugged Western brain.

Every minor, boring, seemingly insignificant step is A HUGE DEAL. Train yourself to celebrate each one and watch things start to shift massively for you your life. 

                                                                     All Things Wellness, LLC

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