Growing Pains are Gains
By: Peggy Willms
(3 min read)
The other day, I stumbled on a handwritten note in an old journal of mine. It was dated 2020; no month. I stared out my office window, trying to dial back the clock and dig up what I was going through at that time to have written the words. Sure, COVID-19 was in full bloom, so it would make sense that this note felt a bit heavy.
Here is the ink from the cream-colored pages. Sometimes in order to grow, you have to leave people behind – it hurts – but they either aren’t willing to grow with you or not willing to support your growth.
It didn’t take long for the memories to gush back in. It was the first summer of the pandemic lockdown, and we had just moved to a new town. Because of COVID, all of the homes we toured we entered alone. Realtors would email, text, or call with a code to the lockbox on the front doors, and we had about 20 minutes to look around, and the they called back to make sure you left. We would chat about our thoughts or discuss our questions, and then they would drive by the home to ensure we locked it up. Nothing was done in person.
After moving into a new home and trying to acclimate to a new town, my business was flipped on its head. Simply put, no one was finding expendable income to hire a health and wellness coach. No one was hiring a speaker or consultant. Business, as with many others, closed its door nearly overnight.
I am the shape-shifter of all shape-shifters. I have moved 25 times, lived in multiple states and countries, worked with thousands of people, and had paychecks signed by hospitals, universities, and more. The point – I can shift. And it was time to shift. No matter how I have had to pivot throughout my life, everything I have done has webbed to the next thing and then the next. Every step of the way, I learned more about my industry and added layers of frosting and sprinkles. I genuinely do not feel there’s ever been a setback, even when there were setbacks.
More important than how I shape-shifted my business is that relationships also morphed or faded at this time. I can come across as quite blunt and cold; nothing could be further from the truth. However, I am focused and determined and speak my mind. History repeats itself, and this time with the pivot I was taking in my business and personal life, many people “fell” away at this time; family, collaborators, and friends. None of them were blow-ups. Most of them were fadeaways. And a few, unfortunately, were those that were unwilling to support my growth. The hardest pill to swallow is those who are family. Shocking, but not shocking, ya know. I am sure you have been there where you are shocked but not shocked, all in the same cocktail.
There are a few deal breakers for me. I have no issue with confrontation. Finding solutions or agreeing to disagree is one of my vertebrae. However, I literally will not tolerate people talking behind my back or, worse yet, starring in their own movie, earning an Emmy, as they play fake to my face. Whoa, I sound like I am in 6th grade, but it can be hurtful and bring out the little girl in ya, can’t it.
Bottom line, this note was written in the middle of one of my gratitude journals, and the page was dog-eared, so it was obviously a big ah-ha and meant to be found again, but who would have thought it would take three years.
I have read and reread the words the last few days and frankly have had a few celebrations with myself. Hopefully, you have had a few in your precious years. You sit up tall, think about all the amazing things you have done over the years, and recognize your growth. Growth often comes along in bits and pieces or compounds so much that you must separate paths with some of those people in your tribe. If your paths cross again, great. If not, you must crack on, walk the path confidently, and keep trucking. It can be lonely sometimes, but the path always opens into a wide-open field of love and expansion.
Petals fall off my vibrant desert-rose bush daily. Why? Because the Universe demands change to erupt new growth. Take the ride.