Sticky Flypaper
By: Peggy Willms
(3 mins. read)
We do not recognize ” perfect timing ” until it is in our rearview mirror. Perfect timing are the ahas and the “Now I understand why that happened.”
I was scanning through some of my old emails, looking for a poem I wrote in the late 90s. I had Outlook back in that day, so I had to find my old password. It was a chore.
While stumbling through, I came upon emails from my late grandmother, Mammie. She passed away almost ten years ago.
She and I were like cotton thread from an old doily. You know those ancient ornamental patterns crocheted every so tightly. How funny that I somehow inherited several. I lived with her until I was six, and we were inseparable. She called me her sticky flypaper; I was glued to her. I sat on her lap and played with her soft earlobes well into my 40s. For years and years, we played a game. I called it LUMT. Love You More Than… “I love you more than all the stars in the galaxy.” “I love you more than all of the peanut M&Ms in the world.” “I love you more than all of the blades of grass.” You get the point.
Reading through some of our email exchanges was a tad discomforting this morning. Feeling or addressing deep-seated emotion is not my strong suit, even when the memories are immensely joyous. I adored her so much that I could simply hold her hand and watch her breath.
When something happens, good or bad, I hit the ground running – face it, find solutions, and move on. I don’t reminisce even when it involves the most joyous of memories of which she and I had a million
I continued to scroll through the old emails as I desperately tried to ignore the expanding lump nested in my throat and viciously wiped away a few salty tears that danced on my keyboard.
She passed away in March of 2013. I was unable to be by her side; she was hospitalized in Maine, and I lived 2300 miles away in Colorado. However, I was blessed to be on the phone when she passed away. I always told her to save me a spot on her fluffy, feathered bed in heaven. We always snuggled and slept together. I also told her to make sure she came to visit me in the night, sit on the edge of my bed, and tell me all about heaven.
As I continued to read, my heart opened up, and a few colorful memories paraded around my brain. I remembered all the beautiful things she would say to me and how she thought I could conquer the world. She was so proud of me—from my head to my feet, from my brain to my heart. I suspect we are soul family and that she lurks around me. I wish she would visit. Maybe she has. Perhaps I haven’t let her.
Today, I wanted to share a few sign-offs from our email exchanges. I found it quite ironic there were two birthday emails (my birthday is in just a few days), and the last one was only two months before she passed.
Today, I shall sign off, “I adore you, my Mammie.” Love, your Sticky Flypaper.
Love you so much. I can’t even express how much. You are in my heart. Love you more than anything. Your Mammie
Love you more than all the hearts in the world. Love Mammie
My sweets, I knew you could do it. You are at your best whatever you do, and I am so proud of you. I love you and miss you. Your Mammie
I am singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. I love you so much. Your Mammie
I love you so much, and don’t you forget it more than all the seconds ticking on all of the clocks in the world. LOVE YOU SO MUCH. YOUR MAMMIE
I love my Peggy. I am going to look at your pictures again. Loving you. Your Mammie
Hi, Sticky Flypaper and my sweet granddaughter.
I want to wish you the love and best BIRTHDAY ever. If I had one wish, it would be to look into your face and say I LOVE YOU and give you a big hug. Lots of love and be happy. Mammie
Peggy Willms
All Things Wellness, LLC
peggy@allthingswellness.com
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