What Growth Looks Like
By: Joy Fashagba
(2 min. read)
You know when you hear someone say, “I conquered fear or poverty or anything at all?”
Know that it wasn’t easy or a one-day journey to victory. It was a gradual step filled with pain, faith, fear, courage, persistence, tears, smiles, darkness, light, and finally, boldness in the face of chaos and then peace.
It doesn’t mean fear won’t try to tease them again, but this time around, it won’t get a reaction from them. I have been battling with fear for years now, and sometimes, I don’t have any of those panic moments, and then, one day, something triggers it.
The thought or news of death always scares me, and so anytime I hear of any news of death or a terrible sickness, I start worrying and thinking too much about it. Oh, how is this person feeling? Oh, I wish there was a way to help, and slowly, I start immersing myself in that sad energy.
I have those moments when I want to fight it and never have that feeling, so I run to God, but after some time, I don’t keep up. More like I run to God when I’m overwhelmed.
There were days when I thought I would die from how much the panic had held me down, but I am still alive. But then I needed that breakthrough so I looked to find the root cause.
Why does the word death scare me? Even when I know that we will all die one day, why am I dwelling so much on it instead of living my life? I found out that:
~ I loved to control and fix things, so when I couldn’t find a solution, it got me so angry that my chest would tighten.
~ I hated the idea of seeing anyone I loved be sad or go away, so I worried in advance for no reason, lol, like I could control the future with my worries.
~ I also felt I wasn’t truly living life, so I was scared of dying young, but I was still unproductive
~ I hated force or loud altercations. It made me feel so uncomfortable that I wanted it to stop.
Guess what!
It happened recently, and it was unnecessary to even feel that way, but instead of crying to my parents, I ran to God, and he saved me. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m really overcoming it, but yes, I am.
I am gradually finding a way to calm myself down and remind myself of God’s promises, which helps. Also, I have been on a journey of spiritual growth, and I know the devil won’t be happy with that, so he tries to bring fear back, but with God, I find a way out, and I’m happy.
Growth doesn’t happen at once, but if you look closer, you will see those bits of progress. To overcome a problem, you need to start by finding the cause first and attack it immediately.
Sometimes, growth doesn’t look like it’s happening, but it is!
Do you have any feelings that make you scared? How did you overcome it?
