Just Be You 

By: Alysia Lyons


(3 min read)

The word just is one of those small, simple words that pack a lot of meaning and sometimes a lot of shame. My brother and I would talk about the word just a lot. He would hear, “Why don’t you just become an English teacher?”

Maybe that seems like a big just to you, as it did to him, but we use the word just a lot.

”Just let it go.”

“Just get a new job.”

“Just (insert anything that someone else thinks is the “right” or “best” thing for you to do).”

But the thing that got me out of bed this morning was, “Just be yourself.”  I’ve been on a 40-year journey trying to figure out who I was, and people think you can just wave a wand and magically I can just be myself?

Most of us, if we were lucky, got to experience who we really were when we were little. The length of time varies, but if you’re like me, you’ve heard stories of how you used to be before the adults around you told you to be quiet, don’t be so annoying, don’t be so loud, kids are meant to be seen and not heard.

We get the message early and often that who we are is too much for the world and those around us, and we need to be someone else to make other people happy. And because we want to be loved, taken care of, and accepted by those around us, we begin to mute who we are.

Then one day, we have to do something that makes us nervous, like make a speech or make new friends, and some wise adult (most likely one of those adults that told us to be quiet in the first place) lovingly tells us, “Just be yourself.”

I’m 40 years into this beautiful journey on this planet, and it’s taken me all of that time (minus a few years in the beginning) to figure out who that self is because I believe in Live, Learn, Teach, I want to share with you some of the things I’ve done to reconnect and rediscover who myself really is, in an effort to help shorten your learning curve.

Joy -What brings you joy? What makes you smile? What are some of the things you enjoy doing? If you don’t know or don’t remember, explore, try new things, meet new people. If you want different results, you must do different things. Yesterday I did a sound bath. Never heard of that before, but I was invited, and I said yes. It was a pretty cool experience, and I got to see a seal on a beach and a beautiful sunset!

Understand -Take time to understand yourself. Do some journaling. Look back at your life and get curious about why you did the things you did. Do this without shame and judgment. Most of us are constantly seeking love and acceptance, and we might have done some questionable things in the past to get love and acceptance. Remember, we are always doing the best we can with the tools and resources we have at the time. You are no different.

Spend time – It takes time to rediscover who you are. Sometimes it takes longer than others. Be patient, and don’t give up. It’s worth it. You’re worth it.

Trust – Trust yourself. Trust the process. Trust the journey. Trust that you’ll “mess up.” Trust that it’ll be worth it.

Remember, your kids are watching and learning from you. If you want them to be a certain way, the best way is to model it for them.

If you’re looking to join a supportive community of Facebook moms, feel free to join my group, Moms Conquering Guilt. I am passionate about helping busy moms determined to enjoy every day, love on their kids more, and feel freedom in their life. Don’t settle for the status quo; you deserve so much more.


Alysia Lyons
                                                                     All Things Wellness, LLC

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