Self-Sabotage & The Yellow Brick Road
By: Peggy Willms
( 3 min read)
During my Live Chats on TikTok, I offer coaching tips. Shock. A common theme: why can’t I hit my goals? And up bubbled a common culprit…self-sabotage. Most of the time, you have set yourself up to fail before you even start, and you likely have been doing it for decades.
By definition, self-sabotage is thoughts, words, and actions that are self-defeating and work against you when trying to attain something you want or maintain something you have.
Think about splitting yourself, almost being two individuals. Devil/Angel is what I have used before. We need to find harmony within ourselves. Resisting and opposing is exhausting. A part of you thinks hitting your goals is a fancy dance down the yellow brick road, and others feel the path is always the road to doom.
Dorothy, Scarecrow, The Cowardly Lion, and the Tin Man certainly had different thoughts, words, and actions on their journey to chat with The Wizard of Oz. But they were a team; when one was up and the other down, they all dug in and got to their destination together. What if ALL those characters lie within you just as they did inside Dorothy? Guess what – they do.
As you decide to make a goal, parts of you dive in and start getting ready. The gym shoes are out again. You have bought the kale, a new eye mask, and stocked up on Advil. The other side – the little devil, shall we say – decides to spark a temper tantrum, dig his heels in, and hold on for dear life. He’s scared. He wants to burn your intentions to the ground. He is the side of you that is fearful, curious, and feeling all alone, afraid you might actually succeed this time.
What if you consider being successful is scary? What if it is foreign? What if you kept off that 25 pounds this time, or what if you finished those three credits and had a PhD after your name?
Sure, your last experience may have been a landmine exploding before you. Maybe you twisted your ankle two weeks into training for a 5k. Did you cash in and give up the goal altogether?
In some cases, if you haven’t “been there before,” you don’t have a relative. You may have imagined a long journey to hell and back and that the “struggle to get there” will be permanent, everlasting. But what if you do nail it?
Those expert self-sabotagers are the pullers and pushers. Just as they begin to succeed, they consciously or unconsciously push it away like that toxic relationship you can’t sever.
If you think fear, abandonment, and failure are inevitable, you will chase that. That is your familiar. That is what you are used to. Have you convinced yourself the self-sabotage role is yours; you earned it?
Align with the little voice inside of you that is defiant and determined. Rewire that brain. You know you can succeed at anything. But do you really want to?
Write down your resistances, concerns, and fears. What is your motivation for holding on to the familiar? Let go of those concerns; that person. Let your fearful inner self stand up, walk away, and stomp off, slamming the door behind them.
Nurture the relationship with the side of you who wants to win and wants to succeed. What do you really want to feel, enjoy, or learn? Make a small list to get started, find your tribe, create boundaries, and take one step forward.
If you sense someone opposing you are about to abandon the mission, have a conversation with them, asking if they are aware of it and what you need from them. Help them try to understand the direction you are headed. If they struggle with compliance, decrease time with them or determine the acceptable topics of discussion.
The bottom line…if you want to walk down the yellow brick road to success, you may have to oil up your tin man, hug your scarecrow, and give your cowardly lion a love bomb.
Peggy Willms
All Things Wellness, LLC
peggy@allthingswellness.com
The information provided is the opinion of the author. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice: diagnosis or treatment. The author, the business, All Things Wellness, LLC, and its owner Peggy Willms, are not liable for risks or issues associated with using or acting upon the information in this article or website. We assume no responsibility for tangible and intangible damages such as physical harm caused by using a product, loss of profits or loss of data, and defamatory comments. This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases.
