Things That Go Hmm

By: Peggy Willms


(3 min read) 

When there is nothing around me to experience, I realize I am the experience. I don’t know where I heard that this week, but it certainly made me stop in my tracks, lean back, cross my arms, shake my head, and think, hmm. Things that make you go, hmm.

 “Hmm” is buzzing around me a lot these days. There are so many things you do, say, or think about when you get older. Crazy, isn’t it?! The aging process is way more about the journey for me versus its inevitability. For instance, I literally process a bit slower now, and this chic’s vast memory capacity just ain’t what it used to be. I still go deep and wide, but in the last few years, the brain fog simply sets in a bit more often and lingers longer than it used to.

I am certainly as busy as ever, but the process by which I function has shifted. Everything has shifted. But that’s a whole other story.

Has the cell range of my Excel spreadsheet brain reduced its capacity? Am I now only columns A-M and cell rows from 1-100 instead of multi-directional infinity and beyond? Is the subtotal of my life formula now but a few rows and columns? Oh, my God, Peggy, stop being so dramatic.

Growing up, I heard many matter-of-fact, emotionless statements, “Whatever will be, will be”… ”Que sara sara” …  or “Everything happens for a reason.” They never provoked a conversation by asking what are you thinking or how are you feeling. If so, I would have thought they took a bunch of LSD. Their statements simply implied, “Shut up and get on with it. I am busy.”

Sure, I have found myself repeating several of their one-liners, but mine have a bit more meat behind them, which makes my children want to stab their eyes with an ice pick. If they only knew what that was.

There has been a shift in my thinking over the last decade, and proudly, I find more harmony in my heart, spirit, mind, and body. Conceptually, I have always known a balance was required — a sense of harmony — but my mindset and body have been a little slow to execute.

My mentors just DID things. They weren’t BE’ers. They didn’t sit around talking about the what-ifs of the world. The only sitting they did was to drink coffee, smoke their guts out, and talk about why Jane across the street spends a lot of time with Jack, who lives next door.

I am not the world’s biggest Be’er, but I have expanded upon my parents and grandparent’s canned comments. This baby girl has broadened her horizons. Live in the moment. Breakdowns become breakthroughs. Inner peace. I am worthy. I am in the right place at the right time. There are no coincidences. You do you, boo.

And my newest one, “When there is nothing around me to experience, I realize I am the experience.” Now that is profound.

I have always invited conversation and have asked more than my fair share of who, what, why, where, when, and how. Perhaps moving as much as I have, living through a few challenging relationships (to say the least), putting up with Corporate America, and most recently surviving a 156 mph hurricane, have earned me the right to process more slowly and want a nap midday.

My awareness, however, has a pep in its step. Like noticing there are times when the clouds don’t move. I used to think they constantly moved. I watch birds swim, sunbathe, and climb trees. Yes, they do. I have an anhinga I named Flasher who does all of those things. There are 300 shades of green. I can hear better at 3 a.m. Every cup of coffee tastes different. Inquisitiveness showed up, too. Why can’t they fill the prescription bottles to the top? Do you fall into the black abyss or get sucked up or Superman laterally? Why can’t I find any of the 50 reading glasses I have?

There is so much going on inside this gem of a brain. It is quite colorful.

How about you promise me this…Stop, Look, and Listen this week. Is there something you haven’t noticed before? And if you think everything is the same and you are not having an experience, then process “What If You Are The Experience?”

Peggy Willms
                                                                     All Things Wellness, LLC

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