By: Lara Scriba
(3 min read)
It has been an incredibly busy week as we moved aboard our boat. Though our time and hands were dominated by logistical and laborious tasks, my mind always wanders. Last week as we began the process and the excitement of finally being “home,” and there was an incredible limitless feeling of new beginnings, which felt amazing. But as I began unpacking and finding a place for all of our things, a question kept arising. What is our new life going to look like?
There is an intense need for clarity in a time of extreme clutter and disarray. Not only are we moving back home, but we are building a new life for ourselves. A new way of being in the world, within our own family, with our homeschool routine and relationship dynamics. All the structures we previously had in place no longer exist, so it is time to rebuild. Create new foundations and structures to support our new dreams.
The struggle I feel is that we are building as we go. One plank down, one foot forward, look up, reassess, where to next? Next plank, next step forward, reassess… This is beautiful in a way, as it allows an immense amount of freedom and flexibility. Still, it can also feel exhausting to be constantly assessing, deciding, and taking new actions.
There is a need for the familiar, for a sense of stability. Last week I spoke to the comfort I found in the predictability and rhythm of the seasons. This pushed me to think of other structures which already exist that can help bring to form the essence of our intention, dreams, and desires.
Two constant players are the rhythms of nature and ourselves. They are tapping into the predictability and rhythmic nature of the seasons and playing with the different energies and opportunities they each provide. But WE, ourselves, are also a constant. So how can we play the part of providing structure?
It made me think of the breath—a constant within our own being. The predictable rhythm of the inhale and exhale. A single day also includes a similar rhythm. Just like there is an inhale and exhale with the breath, there also needs to be this vacillation of our experiences throughout each day.
The INHALE—coming together, connection, intensity (body, mind, energetic stimulation), curiosity, outward focus.
Then the EXHALE—a time to come back to the self, restorative activities (reading, internal inquiry, resting, quiet, solitude).
Through this dynamic expansion and contraction, we breathe, become, and embrace all life offers.
As all these ideas and metaphors kept bringing me back to the felt sense of the body. It was then that I realized I was getting caught up and overwhelmed by focusing on the FORM of things.
What do I want my life to LOOK like?
I’m asking the wrong question.
What I need to ask is how do I want my life to FEEL?
There is a sense of freedom and fluidity in that statement, rather than feeling like I had to pick out the perfect kitchen tile that I’d have to live with for years. I just needed to articulate how I wanted to feel in my life.
Finally, a sense of flow. What do I want my life to allow me to do, be and feel? Core pillars of importance emerged.
- Family- taking care of one another, being kind
- Community, being of service to others
- Heartfelt connection and conversations
- Allowing vulnerability and honesty
- Being fully present
- Validate and care for one another
- Nurture self and relationships
- Learning, open mind to new topics
- Exploring concepts or physical spaces
- Get curious
- Adventure- try something new; growth comes outside of the comfort zone
- Heart opening experiences
- Allowing vulnerability, seeing others but also allowing yourself to be seen
- Be willing to forgive, which includes yourself.
- Nourishing foods, the act of cooking is grounding and infused with love
- Explore new cultures through experiencing new foods and recipes
- Cooking for others as a love language
- Intuitive eating, what is your body telling you it needs, then listen
- Movement- tap into energetic levels and then find movement to match.
- Touch- with hugs, hands, and hearts
- Prioritize rest
- Tend to your own body as much as you do others.
- New books, new concepts, new points of view
- Choose a new project to work on
- Learn something new, take a course
- Always be learning – find local people to connect with that can share their knowledge, wisdom, and experiences.
- Notice- patterns, themes, negativity, old stories that no longer serve you
- Always ask before speaking, “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Especially when speaking to yourself.
- Be open to exploring others’ opinions, ideas, perceptions
As I continue to work through this experience, write, and explore, I see the patterns and themes repeating themselves. A comforting rhythm that, rather than feeling redundant, feels like a relief. It is a process of “remembering” and letting go of old structures, stories, and expectations. Of tapping into the self as the source of the wisdom I seek.
I am my greatest obstacle and my greatest gift. Most importantly, I get to choose.
It has been through the power of writing and articulating the turbulence I often experience in my mind that I realize how much my body has become my trusted advisor. A tuning fork to inform me of what truly resonates and what doesn’t. It is an experience of coming home to the self, which finally feels like an inviting place to be.