What Lessons Do Your Emotions Teach You?

By: Alysia Lyons

(2 min read)

I have a friend who has been working on himself over the last six months, and today I ran across a post of his. It caught my eye because he wrote, “Today, I want to talk about anger.”

I’ve been wanting to write an article about emotions for a while, but honestly, it intimidated me.

My friend wrote that his daughter said he doesn’t like how peaceful he’s become. He used to be a real hothead. I’ve heard stories about how he would react to people who wronged him, and some of those stories made my stomach curl.

In the post, he wrote, anger is a secondary emotion. I’ve heard this in the past while I was in therapy. I didn’t really understand what it meant back that, and now that I know more about emotions, I think the statement is incomplete.

Yes, anger is a secondary emotion, but under it, you’ll find pain, fear, regret, desire, love/appreciation. Where anger exists, so do those other emotions, and if you take the time to reflect on that anger, you’ll discover the other emotions as well.

I’ve been reflecting on my parenting journey for a while, although I never really called it that. When I’d get angry or lose my temper, I would think back on what exactly led to my reaction. I would then talk to my son and explain my reaction.

We’ve been programmed in our society to be afraid of our emotions, but a while back, I saw a TikTok, YouTube short, and Facebook/Instagram Reel that broke down what our emotions really mean.

  • Resentment shows you where you lack boundaries.
  • Jealousy shows you what you most desire.
  • Shame teaches you what parts of you need acceptance.
  • Fear shows you your biggest opportunities for growth.
  • Anxiety teaches you where you need to ground in the present.
  • Anger teaches you where you want justice.
  • Sadness teaches you how to let go.

Every emotional state exists for a very specific purpose, but when you avoid feeling, you also avoid healing.

So when you feel an emotion, instead of shoving it back down, ask yourself, what lesson does this emotion have for me? What is this emotion trying to tell me I need to look at?

Alysia Lyons
                                                                     All Things Wellness, LLC

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